Giant Cherry White Chocolate Sweet Rolls the Size of A Dinner Plate (Tutorial)

 I've had a lot of requests...um...a SEA of requests for a tutorial on how to make the giant rolls the size of a dinner plate. I'm assuming that y'all are going to share these rolls with me right? I mean...if I share the secrets to perfect buns-o-glory I ought to at least get to sniff the frosting. Isn't that fair? Well. I'm sharing. I think it's an awesome skill. Let's face it...skills are good. Boys like girls with skills...and ligers. What's a liger? (Quick...name that movie...and then bust out your moon boots and dance for me. )

 Let's assume for just a minute that these are also some level and degree of almost healthy. Wouldn't that just blow your mind? Well...they're 100% whole grain and low fat. If that's a deal breaker...walk away now. I'm giving you some serious happy food. Glad all over food...even your bum will be glad you came to see me. Dang...did I just type that out loud? Well. I used half the dough from the 6 whole grain bread recipe. When it finished it's raising, I rolled it out like this...The full legnth of my kitchen table. Yup. That long.Flour the table pretty well there too. I'm not making them sticky buns. Um...sticky to the table buns...roll about 1/2 inch thick 18 inches wide and 4 feet long.

 Smear with a drizzle of honey caramel sauce, top with some Peaches and Cream Smoothie Mix (about 1/2 a cup) white chocolate chips and sun-dried cherries. I also sprinkled a light dusting of micro-fine lime zest and fresh ground nutmeg...just a kiss. Not a make out session. Just saying.

 Now...The secret to huge rolls...is to roll it the short way the full length of the table...instead of the short way the full length of the table.

 Keep your rolling pretty tight and pinch the livin' daylights out of the side seam so it doesn't fly open and spit it's gorgeous delicious innards out. How's that for a visual?

This makes 3 large rolls. 5-6 inches high and 10 inches wide when baked. You'll need to generously grease 3 10 inch baking pans and place the rolls in them. This helps the rolls keep a nice shape too.

 This pan is the pan that came with my Solar Oven . When the roll raises, it will peak it's beautiful glorious body over the top of the pan...as if to say, " I'm ready to meet my maker...or baker...or whatever a giant roll meets at the end of it's short life." Yes. It appears my rolls actually talk just like I do. Did I ever tell you my son's favorite muffin joke? "What did one muffin say to another muffin as they sat in the oven? 'Oh my crap! A talking muffin!" Yeah...I never claimed that it was a good joke. Golly. Look at that bun!

 I placed her...er...um...it. I can't call it a her. She would never forgive me for making her so fat. He on the other hand would stand in front of the mirror and say he was ripped. So...there it is. HE will be baking soon. Close the preheated solar oven. (Regular oven bake at 350 degrees 30-35 minutes.) Solar...45-50 minutes.

 Mmmmercy. HE is pretty hot. I must admit. I'm a little...flustered. 

There you go. Make some freaks of nature! Have fun...and don't forget to share! I love seeing your creations on my Chef Tess Bakeresse Facebook Page! I think every single freak need to be seen...at least a few seconds before it's destroyed by the family forks. Xoxo.
Always My Very Best,
Your Friend Chef Tess

Danish Pastries of Love and Happiness

Here's something pretty. Danish pastries are one of my favorite things to make. I love how they look. I love how they smell coming out of the oven and filling my house with this buttery cardamom wave of love. Really, I think whoever came up with these must be among the raving genius bakers in history. Take a peek. I made them myself.

These are another one of those roll in doughs. Butter rolled into the dough to make it flaky and luscious. Ahhh. I love butter. Real Danish is a roll in dough. You see "Danish" in bakeries that don't make it with a roll in and it makes me crazy. Really, what is the point? If I wanted a cinnamon roll glorified, I would ask for one. These are the real deal. I promise I will give you a recipe someday!

It Starts With a Dream

This is the recipe that started it all...

My Mother's 5 Day bread dough. It is good in the fridge for 5 days. She developed the recipe her Senior year of college as a food science final. Then the remainder of my growing up years, she developed it further until now... It is practically perfect in every way. A regular Mary Poppins kind of bread. Make the dough Monday and you can have rolls, pizza, bread... you name it for the rest of the week. The only rules are: the dough has to stay covered tightly, and the dough needs to get punched down once a day. This recipe makes 4 loaves, or 48 rolls. Or one pizza, 12 rolls, 6 hot dog buns, monkey bread, and 12 soft pretzels. It is an all purpose dough. Yes you can make 4 dozen cinnamon rolls and sit down with a fork and 12 friends and eat the whole pan... I haven't done it (...yet) but I assume it can be done. Diabetics... shoot up. I don't want to be held liable for a sugar coma. You know this isn't low carbo. Remember, follow the recipe as close as possible and you will have success. Pay especially close attention to the directions. Don't just read the ingredients and do it your way. It won't be as perfect as it could be...Really. Seriously. Do what it says. Really. I will say that and there will still be some who write and tell me my recipe is a stink-bug (even though they didn't measure right and added the salt right to the yeast and...their own way mixing...). There is no secret ingredient! Kung Fu Panda freaks. It is how you follow the directions... OH...and this recipe is for baking at sea level. If you are farther up in the clouds...be sure to note the changes.

Geneve's 5 Day Bread Dough--


2T active dry yeast (over 3000 feet use 1 T only)
4 cups milk, cold is best (cold soy milk is wonderful!)
3/4 cup honey
1T salt
4 eggs (or 1 cup egg replacement)
3/4 cup oil
1 1/2 cup mashed potatoes. cooled to body temp again. The consistency of thick oatmeal.
1T baking powder
2 cups whole wheat flour
12-14 cups all purpose flour (I have used fine ground white wheat and been fine doing all whole grain, use only 12-14 cups total if whole wheat is used )

Directions. Dissolve yeast in milk. Stir in honey. Allow yeast to get all foamy and look like it is having a hay day. Add egg, oil, mashed potato, baking powder, 2cups whole wheat flour, 2 cups all purpose flour and salt, in that order. Do not let yeast come in contact with salt on it's own or it will kill the yeast. Beat until smooth. Allow dough to rest 10-15 minutes.

Add enough of the flour remaining to make a soft dough that is easy to handle but not dry. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead 10 full minutes. about 600 turns. Yea. 600 by hand. 5-6 minutes by machine on medium speed. Form into a ball and place in an ungreased 2gallon bowl, covered tightly. If you don't have a large enough bowl...use two smaller bowls. Or...just half the recipe if you are worried. Put in the fridge. Punch down after 2 hours (this may be faster if you use warm ingredients or flour. If the dough is over 85 degrees when you put it in the fridge, be sure to punch down sooner. Also...if you have kids who open the fridge a lot, be sure to lower the temperature a bit so that your fridge is really as cold as it should be) Form into a ball again. Cover tightly and chill at least 8 hours. Be sure to punch down daily (this not only expels gas, but also ensures even temperature in the dough). Shape into 4 loaves...see :loaf molding (I roll the dough out 12 inches by 8 inches, fold into thirds and roll into a loaf) and put into well oiled 8inch by 4 inch by 4 inch loaf pans. Larger loaf pans are not recommended. Cover loaves with a light mist of oil and then cover with plastic for 1 1/2 to 2 and 1/2 hours depending on the temperature of your home. Bread will be just over the top of the pan. Make sure oven is pre-heated! 400degrees. Bake at 400 degrees for (12-15 minutes for over 3000 feet altitude) 20 minutes, then lower the temperature to 350 degrees and bake an additional 15- 20 minutes (I use a meat thermometer. At 170 degrees the bread is baked through). Remove promptly from pans and transfer to a cooling rack. Cool completely before putting in storage bags. Do not store in the fridge.

Rollie-Pollie

Spiced Ginger Peach Carmel Rolls with Toasted Almonds

So how sick and wrong is it? I'm really taking a poll. I don't think I could possibly add more filling if I tried but isn't that what makes a good sweet roll? One of my biggest fears it that one day I will wake up and realize that there isn't a 12 step program for obsessive sugar disorder. Really...it keeps me up at night. That and the crazy realization that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter if I make more sweet rolls than the next guy, as long as mine are better!! Should I start sharing recipes here or just tease you with my skills and magic? I guess that will be my next step.