After 15 years of faithful service, my favorite sourdough starter was infiltrated by dark terrorist spores from my dirty dish pile. That's what I get for not washing the dishes faster than my kids could find a project for themselves. It just took one dirty spoon and a few days...and it was gone. "Taps" playing softly in the background, it was given an ocean burial. Guess which ocean? At any rate, I was almost resigned to starting a new batch. The flavor takes a long time to develop into amazing sourdough and I was pretty discouraged. Low and behold, my life long friend Gena offered up some of her starter. She got it from Jon and Mer who got it from...get this...someone who claims it was started in Europe in the 1700's. My joy is full. Mind you, I have to think that it is pretty freaky old, because it is better than any sourdough starter I have ever used or seen...ever.
So...I started telling Ace about this starter and he says..."wait, are you telling me that that goo has been around since the 1700's? How do you know it's not poison or full of funky germ warfare?" Really. Yes, the Nazi terrorists are trying to infiltrate the American people via sourdough starter. In a chaotic system, intellectual bakers are the first to go. Or worse, what if it was the aliens who left the evil spawn in the sourdough starter right before they went back to the mother ship? Don't worry, I made it very clear that the aliens couldn't use mind control on me because I wore a tin foil cone around my head whenever I cooked. After I stopped laughing, I took a deep breath. I started laughing again. Honestly? Where does this guy get his information.
Wait...should I be worried? If my hands fall off, I'll know it was all a lie. I'm a drone zealot from the planet Artisan... Take me to your leader.