Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Double Chocolate Orange Almond Flour Cookies (Naturally Sweetened and low carb)

Sometimes a girl just need chocolate.  I know ladies. It's just a fact. I've been having these little bad-boy chocolate cookies to save my sanity over the last year...and they have. 

Men, in case you need the scientific facts about chocolate and women, read on!

The unmistakable woman chocolate truth:

  • Truth: Never underestimate the power of a woman who needs to eat chocolate and still fit into her jeans. It's an evil vortex of genius.
  •  Truth: All  really bad  female headaches can only be cured by rubbing an intense dark sea salt soiree bar in the mouth and counting to 100.
  •  Truth: The secret cure  to female moodiness that has baffled husbands for years is to do a choc-incantation while holding a chocolate doughnut with each index finger for added balance. This incantation must be done while wearing chocolate ceremonial garb...
  •  Truth: Woman wearing ceremonial garb must also be  watching at least 2 hours of Pride and Prejudice...particular during a certain cycle of the moon that will only be discussed in secret woman circles (in hushed tones) for fear that men will actually understand us.
 **Men Please note: there are 3 days in the month that men must never question the seemingly evil chocolate force that overtakes a girl and can only be cured by creamy smooth dark squares of chocolate taken orally...and alone. Let her hide in a closet undisturbed during this phase and you will find peace in the land. Deny her chocolate during this phase...and sleep on the couch with a pillow over your...never mind. I've been told that during menopause this phase is extended from 3 days to 3 years. I'm getting a villa in France for that phase Here.

 To my husband Ace, I'm sorry. 3 years is a long time but I think it would be better if you didn't see me like that. Knowing Ace, he'll probably follow me anyway and just pat my shoulder and say (in a hushed tone), "poor, poor, thing." {By the way if you've never seen my favorite movie Harvey then that last "poor, poor, thing" won't mean a thing to you.}
 There is however, the very high chance that Ace will  throw  his hands in the air and say, "FINE!#$*%***# Have it your way Mrs. INSANE!!...France is really nice this time of year!"  

Here we go ladies. It is time to be sucked into the vortex of evil genius. I sense there is still some good in you. { Giggle. Giggle.}

Double Chocolate Orange Almond Flour Cookies
2 cups Natural Almond Flour
1/2 cup Pyure Natural Organic Stevia granules (natural sugar-free calorie free sweetener)
1/2 cup egg whites
2 Tbsp. Chia Seeds 
zest of one orange
1 tsp rum extract
1/4 cup cocoa powder
Lily's Sweet Dark Chocolate Bar, Stevia Sweetened, chopped

Directions: Combine all ingredients in a large bowl, mixing well. Dough will be stiff.  Divide into 20 cookies and roll into balls.  Place on ungreased cookie sheet 1 inch apart, smashing lightly.  Bake 350 10-12 minutes.  Allow to cool on the sheet, about 10 minutes. Store in an airtight container.

My Fitness Pal Nutritional Information: Yield 20 servings. 63 calories each, 5 g fat, 3 g low-impact carbohydrates, 1 g fiber (2 net carbs) 2 g protein. 

There you go darlings! Let's rock the weight loss and healthy whole food eating! Ya know, it isn't about losing weight so much as it is about making sure I take care of this body that God gave me. It is a gift to be alive. I'm treating it that way. 

Always My Very Best,
Your Friend Chef Tess

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