A dear friend of mine named Heather had a new baby a few months ago and on several occasion has loaned her to me just so I could get my baby "fix". I love this little baby "Ellie". I don't know how anyone could look at such a soul and ever doubt that they have seen a real miracle. Each child is so unique. Each born with limitless potential. I have been borrowing babies a lot lately. Mostly from lack of having a baby of my own. I've started to see the value that I can be to a new mom, ragged from lack of sleep and in need of some relief. I didn't really see until today what that meant to God for me to take up some of the "slack" down here on earth.
I had the chance to teach the women's Relief Society today at church. We have a lay ministry so it's unpaid...in earthly money(but blessings unmatched). I always seem to get a ton of inspiration and insight into myself when I teach. Most often the church lessons are the ones that change me the most. Today I taught a lesson called "God Will Be With You Forever and Ever". It was about trials of Faith and never being separated from God's love. It was about our spiritual birthrights. One of which was and is His love. One of my personal big challenges...inability to have more babies. I love them, but my body rejects pregnancy in every way. I had been feeling really guilty for not having more children. I just feel like I have so much love to give and yet, here I am with such a small family. So, today the Spirit of God just hit me especially hard. It was that not only was God aware of me, but that He didn't love me less because I didn't have 10 babies. I have 2--both considered medical miracle babies. Doctors still can't tell me exactly why they are here...but God can. He told me today in my heart. I guess there are just days like today when I feel especially enveloped in God's love. Especially cherished and appreciated. It was a good strong spiritual day. In a world of confusion, that is no small feat.
Just in case you are ever wondering if He knows you, the answer is yes. Nothing could stop a true Father from loving His child. I see him as that loving cherishing father. Like I look at my boys...and Ellie...but a million times more love. That is what today was about. I'm Feeling the love and basking in it.
There you go.
my daughter had a medical miracle baby. after 8 years of infertility,
then heavenly father decided he needed him back. he was here long enough to get a body only 2 hours. and then he went to live in heaven again.
your so lucky to have your 2 babies. i am so glad you see that.
I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this either so it is nice to get a few words like yours! Someday one of my first questions will be "Why?..." then again, would I have as much empathy for others who share my struggle if I didn't have the struggle myself? I don't know if I could really understand on a personal level. I just know that all trials are custom built to the individual to get the most growth...not that it makes the trials any easier.
Your experiences...I love the person they have made you. I know how hard this baby hunger is (I feel it myself...deeply), and appreciate your words. One of the girls in our youth group has a saying on her phone 'Today's trials are tomorrow's testimony'. How true that is. Love you!
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