Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Mango Frangipane Tart with Spiced Pomegranate Molasses Glazed Blackberries

We are about to embark on a dangerous visit to the Evil Think Tank. Our first journey without Evil Tara, though her evil master genius was deeply felt as the founding idea. Frangipane with pear in a lovely tart was a Tara-ism. However, due to forces beyond my control, I had to find another lab assistant this time. So, Lisa (clan of the cave hair ), the one and only friend who came over to help me pack stuff to move...was allowed the unique chance to see my mind at work. She was even gracious enough to let me come to her house with a bunch of random supplies...

This is how an Evil Think Tank works. I bring the basics...and we decide together just how to improve the all around wickedness of the indulgence. After perusing the supplies...
The melting of the minds agreed we needed blackberries and some onions. Not to go together in a tart. Lisa made a run to the local produce market while I stayed with her sweet daughter and got to watch the "pony show"...which I don't ever get to watch when my little boys are around. So nice to have some girl time.

Is it a sign? Our produce came out to exactly...

I'm just saying...
Make the crust. You will need
2 1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup shortening ( I used Spectrum brand organic)
1/4 cup butter
3T vinegar
3T cold water

Preheat your oven to 400. Combine salt, flour, shortening and butter. For more exact directions please see Tuesday Tutorial Pecan Pie .
My friends, Lisa has been making pie crust since she was 6. I just let her do it. I'm nice like that. She didn't even cuss at me and tell me, " Make your own crust you lazy freak". That's a true friend my dear.
Form into a ball and chill in the fridge about 30 minutes. You can get a lot of evil planning done while it is in the Big House. Planning it's escape might be first on your wicked agenda.
Roll out between two pieces of wax paper or parchment paper until a 12 inch circle is formed. Remove paper and flip the dough into the tart pan. Yes, hip action is required. I would be amiss if I didn't mention that this lovely pan was sent to me from www.cookware.com. Let me tell you...they didn't fool around. It's a gorgeous weight and a fabulous invaluable tart tool.
Trim the dough flush to the edge of the tart pan. I love this tart pan. It's really heavy and non-stick. It bakes evenly and the bottom comes out so I can remove the tart from the pan and serve them more easily.
Trimming the dough is fun to do, fun to do, to do, to do... You know I watched too much Mr. Rogers as a kid right?
Roll the dough so it is even with the lip of the pan. Flute inward, like this...or for further instructions on fluting see the Tuesday Tutorial Pecan Pie. It's all mapped out for you there.
I know you can do it.
Now you will need aluminum foil and dry uncooked pinto beans. Nobody crack open a can of Boston Baked Beans and put those in there. I will cry...after I point and laugh. No, really, I won't laugh. Just don't do it.

Arrange like so...
Did I mention I love this tart pan?
Bake 400 degrees 20-25 minutes. While it bakes we will prepare the frangipane filling.
For my recipe you need:
1 cup butter
4 ounces cream cheese
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 1/2 cup fine ground toasted almonds
2 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup all purpose flour
We went non-traditional and used the almonds with the skin still on. It was for the added fiber. Really. It made it healthier somehow.

Pulse in the food processor 2 minutes.
Oh baby, you are soooo fine. You're totally nuts...but you're fine.

Whip the softened butter, with the sugar with a very strong paddle. Kitchen Aid comes to mind.
Now, gracious hearts, add the cream cheese. Whip 3 minutes. Scrape down the side with a nice rubber spatula.

You will need one egg, and one egg yolk. I'm not totally insane, but I took an egg out and separated it...then asked Lisa, "Hey, where did I put the eggs?!"
Yea. See that little piece of silver at the top of the next picture...that's how far away the eggs where. I'm just saying...you don't have to be a genius to make this tart my friends.

With the mixer on low, add the whole egg (out of the shell...I have to say that you know), and the yolk. Also add the super fine and sexy almond powder of bliss and the 1/3 cup flour, and 2 tsp vanilla. Beat on medium speed about 2 more minutes until well combined. No, this next picture is not a random photo of my thighs. Freaky as that would be.
Remove the tart shell from the oven (20 minutes to bake at 400, remember?) Remove the beans in the foil by holding the edges of the foil after it cools slightly. Lift those beans up in that foil like you are "the Stork" delivering a little baby-ga-ga bundle. Then, we chopped 4 pieces of dry apricot, 3 dried pears. Randomly we decided not to use the plums. Which is also part of the Think Tank. Yes my friends, it's about being a total woman and fickle enough to change the unfathomable mind that a woman possesses. I can own that.
Now...Lisa unveiled the most evil potion of all. One that will forever live in infamy for it's freaky psycho influence on the otherwise perfectly sweet and love filled blackberries...behold...the most wonderfully tart and yet heroine like liquid I have yet seen drizzled on a berry...
Don't ask me where you can get that stuff. I don't think it's street legal. However, Lisa might leave a comment and let everyone know who her source is...or some kind of anonymous tip.
Pomegranate molasses. EVIL. Pomegranate molasses with blackberries...pure evil genius.
Oooo-wah-haaaa-haaa-haa. Bow to me my lovelies. That's the berries talking. I would never insist upon such mindless hero worship. Evil mind control is for the sourdough starter (Lost? Random thoughts...Sourdough.)
While those bask in the glow of joy...spread out the frangipane filling. See how thick the tart pan is? Really...I'm totally in love.
Oh have mercy. Please...someone save me from myself.
It's like "The Blob"...but it doesn't chase perfectly primped sock hop gals out of movie theaters and ooze out of ventilation shafts (though I'm pretty sure you can't run for long from this stuff...). Poor tender little dried fruitlets didn't have a chance.

Once that blob of glee had been spread out to the edges, artfully arrange the mango on top. Art-fully-fingers...engage. Watched a little too much Inspector Gadget as well.
Bake...375 degrees for about 1 hour. We where not,by any far stretch, satisfied with the level of toxic sugar bomb we had created...so we did more stuff while the tart baked. Zany stuff like chopped candied ginger, about 1 T.
Galactic destructive mind processing decided we needed some more addictive powders and colorful stuff with the blackberries in the evil potion...so we added 1 tsp double strength Madagascar Bourbon vanilla, 1 tsp micro-grated orange zest...and a dash of Saigon cinnamon and nutmeg. Popping one of these little things in your mouth was like tasting the entire Spirit of Christmas. If that makes any sense. It was like that mulberry candle everyone burns at the advent of the season to make their home drip with the feelings of love and warmth that filled your soul as a child. It was that taste...in a berry.

Yes...I know. It's awe inspiring.
Sing with me now, "It's the hap-happiest Season of Aaaaaallllll".
(This picture has been censored by Mothers Against Mind Control)
Speaking of insanity...add
some chopped butter toffee walnuts, about 1/2 cup. Those got piled in the middle of the tart, along with the ginger after it was removed from the oven, though they could have easily been put on the tart before the baking. Now for the moment of utter bliss.
I found out that it is possible to want a tart blackberry too much. Shame how that tart would have been beautiful totally unadorned with the berries...however, it wouldn't have been nearly as fulfilled as a tart. Indeed, it may have spent the rest of it's lifetime thinking of the berry that got away. I can't be responsible for that kind of indignant shame or agony inflicted by bitter separation.
Tell me...wouldn't it be wimperingly sad to keep them apart? Wimperingly is a word, it means "I'm a total dork"... in Chef-Tess-a-neese. My private language reserved for the few and chosen who are just daring enough to embark into the Evil Think Tank.

Now...as the love song from "Titanic" fills your otherwise perfectly sweet thoughts...gaze your shining little peepers on this confection being drizzled with the syrup that was at the bottom of the bowl of berries. Yes my friends. I can't speak either.
Mmmfffph theee tart was pefectpppffff.

No...I'm not talking with my mouth full.

Fork test. Holy crazy bus! Did I or did I not eat the whole thing?! Lisa helped. I swear. That molasses left from the blackberries was drizzled on the rest of the tart...because we where just that naughty.
Brace yourselves...
Lisa's daughter asked..." Is this Bad or Good?"...to which I answered, " YES". I ask myself that same question every time I enter the Think Tank. I must say...I'm still trying to sort it all out in my very cute, but deranged mind.

There you go. Now...that means go make one.
Which means you need to go visit www.cookware.com and gear up for the holiday baking. Need a tart pan...some evil baking stuff ...My tart pan can be found here: http://www.cookware.com/Calphalon-BW3510-CPH1117.html Thanks to http://www.cookware.com/ we get to have this tart pan giveaway this week! Isn't that nice?

They will be shipping one to a lucky winner here on my blog. My generosity knows no bounds (over 20$ worth of a calphalon tart pan that is)...
Oh...and pop over to the Tart Week...Tart Pan and Cooking Class Giveaway! You know you want to have an Evil Think Tank with me! No, you won't have to wear an aluminum foil cone on your head...on your first think tank anyway.


Goob said...

picture this: mouth watering AND mouth gaping open from too much laughter at this most entertaining of posts.
The Pomegranate Molasses came from Princess Arabian Market in Mesa, AZ. Any Arabic market will have it, and while I can't promise, I've heard this stuff is gaining in popularity, so if you have a well stocked International section in your local grocery, look for it, you just may find it. The brand pictured here is reportedly one of the sweeter molasses's, but if you end up with a super tart one, feel free to add sugar. (Very tart is apparently very traditional and often used in savory dishes.)

Anonymous said...

Hi Steph, Enter me into your contest. By the way is the prize transferrable? I'm so far away, but I have many dear ones in Mesa who would love to have a cooking class.

Chef Tess said...

Shae...totally transferable! You're in the draw babe! Love you!!

Learn more said...

I've been cooking peppers and onions in the skillet on the grill a lot lately. I'll have to add jalapenos next time. Yum. I like cooking bacon that way too, although hot fat + open flame adds a nice element of danger. I used to get flank steak, but my husband got me to try the carne asada cut from our local market, and I prefer it. Not sure if it's thin-cut flank or skirt (I'll have to ask), but it looks like this